Dead hearts
by jollysjools
Summary: Emma's still not sure if she's ready to let go of her walls, but as Elsa chooses her first victim she doesn't seem to know what she wants anymore. Now that Hook has his heart frozen, Emma is willing to do everything to fix it and make him feel again. But to do that, she must follow Elsa's orders and realize that the heart she needs to thaw in the first place is her own.


When she walked out of the Granny's, the stars seemed to shine a little bit darker than before.

Everything seemed to be darker, in fact, and Emma noticed it since the very first second she laid her eyes on the outside world. Maybe it was just her brain that was sending those images to her after previous events, but in her head, all of it was absorbed by a huge, misty cloud from which she couldn't get out. She couldn't see anything anymore and it made her sick. She almost felt like the world celebrated her failure along with her and she didn't like it at all.

Emma sighed under her breath, wrapping the cloak tighter around her arms. She wasn't looking ahead – all she was capable of was trailing her feet after her like some kind of luggage and counting the steps she was taking. It was hard, but it helped her not to think and that was the exact thing she was needing right now.

Her mind subconsciously drifted to Regina. She squeezed at the thought of her and she was sure that from now on, she's going to squeeze many, many times. She swallowed at the memory of the devilish gleam in her eyes the moment she realized who's responsible for all of this.

She should've known better.

Yes, she should've. Emma always knew that if things are going too well, something always has to go wrong; it was one of the most important things she learned throughout her life. She knew that all along but yet, she let herself believe that maybe, just maybe, everything's going to end differently this time. She let herself to feel like some kind of hero when in fact, all she did was causing even a bigger mess than before.

She didn't want to, but she did.

Emma was just really, really tired.

"Quite interesting those feet of yours, aren't they?"

She jumped, hearing a familiar voice right behind her ear. She wasn't surprised when she found out who is his owner, but she gave him a surprising look anyway, wanting to know what he's referring to.

"Well, judging by the way you're gazing at them," Hook said. "Let me guess, must be a new pair of shoes?"

He was standing there, right in front of her, smiling in this familiar, typical way. Emma couldn't help it, but smile - she didn't know how, but he could always find a way to make her feel better without even realizing it. "Must be," she agreed, shifting from foot to foot. There was something anxious about it. "What are you doing here?"

Hook shrugged, giving her his sly smile.

"Isn't that obvious?" He took a step forward. "You disappeared somewhere, I thought you might need a dashing rescue."

Emma rolled her eyes at his words, but her smile stayed on her face just for few more seconds. She quickly remembered freeing herself from that cell and the person she helped to free, too. She regretted this thought almost immediately, cursing under her breath.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

"Well, I'm quite good at it, if you haven't noticed yet," she stated supposedly jokingly, trying to move away imperceptibly as soon as those words left her mouth. She noticed that he's standing surprisingly close.

"That you are."

They went silent.

Emma could feel Hook's eyes on her without looking up at him. His look pierced her through and through and she was perfectly aware of the fact that he's trying to figure her out. He once said she was something like an open book, so if he was still holding on to that theory, Emma was sure it won't take him that much of a time.

She gathered her courage to look up and observe him for the first time since this conversation started. It's not like she wasn't expecting any particular changes, of course, but she noticed something she didn't before – there were blue circles under his eyes and few of his messy hair right on his forehead. And when he was smiling, left corner of his mouth was rising a little bit higher than the right one, as if he was too tired to rise both.

Because he was tired, indeed.

"What's wrong, Swan?" Hook asked, his voice quieter than ever. "And please, do yourself a favor and don't even bother denying it. I know something's going on. Is it about Regina?"

Emma sighed, shaking her head. Why did he always have to be so bloody perceptive?

"It's noth—"

"Alright, so it is about Regina," he interrupted her in the middle of the sentence. "Of course it is."

Emma narrowed her eyes. "And what was that supposed to mean?"

"Only that it's very Swan of you to worry about such things, love." He shrugged.

Emma snorted, giving him an irritable look. It was really astonishing, how quickly her mood changed. Suddenly she felt like she doesn't want to have this conversation any longer, like she doesn't want to talk to him, she doesn't want to see him – she just wanted to be alone to sort things out on her own. And sleep, maybe – tiredness came back to her with a vengeance. Just a little bit of sleep…

Hook noticed that, because she saw him leaning closer with apologetic face.

"Look, Swan," he began, inspecting her carefully. "What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel guilty about freeing this woman. It was the right thing to do and you know it. You can't be sorry for saving innocent life, can you?"

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Coming from the person who was mad at me for it."

"It was reckless," he agreed, "but heroic. Don't be too hard on yourself, darling. Keep in mind that Regina did more harm to your family that you could possibly imagine."

"It's not only about how she feels," Emma said patiently. "It's about how she acts when she feels this way. She finally let go of her evil side… what if because of me she's going to be a threat again?"

"It will simply mean that she never really let go of it and it would've came back to her sooner or later," he said, carefree. "But if she's as decent now as you're stating, she'll get over it. Or find another way to vend her frustration, like throwing a pillow, for example."

Emma smiled. She didn't know why, but hearing these words coming out from his mouth helped much more than hearing it from her own. She took few steps towards him and held out her hand, putting it on his shoulder. The leather felt so familiar that she almost sighed.

"How is it that you always know the exact thing to say?" Emma asked, half jokingly, half seriously. She didn't remove her hand from his arm.

Hook smirked.

"What can I say, I'm good at choosing words," he teased, leaning closer.

Emma didn't step away. "Thank you", she mumbled.

"For what, love?"

"For everything. For jumping after me into that portal, for helping me, for believing me, just…" she took a deep breath, "thank you."

Silence.

"Well, perhaps the gratitude is in order now."

She almost laughed.

But she kissed him instead.

It was different than the other two times they kissed, but yet his soft lips seemed so familiar. She grabbed his collar pushing him closer, as she was fighting to catch her breath. Their bodies pressed to one another, their tongues dancing rhythmically like they were waiting for it this entire time. She wasn't sure if she could compare this to anything else, but if she could, she'd probably say it was like a mix of their first and last kiss. She could feel a passion they shared in Neverland and something she didn't quite understand when she kissed him outside of Granny's. She didn't know, but it felt surprisingly much like home.

And it scared the hell out of her, but right now, she didn't care.

When they broke apart, she stayed pressed to him just for a little longer, but she didn't look him in the eye. She could only imagine the joy contained in them, but something didn't let her to see it on her own. She felt like if she did that, she'd control over entire situation, and _she had to be in control. She liked to be in control._

„There's still this one thing bothering me, though," Emma murmured, still not daring to look him in the eye. As much as comfortable she might have felt in his company, she still couldn't bring herself to drown in it completely. She realized that it's because a part of her – that part who didn't let her open up to anyone ever before until just now – was still fighting for its survival and Emma tried to help it win as much as she could. _She liked to be in control. She __had__ to be in control._

But she wasn't.

And she didn't know what's worse – that being with Hook made her lose it or that losing it started not to disturb her at all.

And Hook knew it too well.

"I wonder what that would be?" he lazily raised his eyebrow, seemingly not paying attention to what she's saying, but she'd have to be fool not to notice a bit of curiosity in his voice.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Emma asked, doubt in her voice. "You could've. Why didn't you?"

He just looked at her. "Tell you what, love?"

"About the ship. The Jolly Roger. You knew that- I mean… it's kind of a huge thing, you know. You traded your _home_ so I could find mine, and you let me believe that there's another secret in your past that you're keeping away from me. Why?"

A little smirk appeared on Hook's face. "Well, aren't you a nosy one?" She opened her mouth, but he didn't let her to answer, already starting his confession. "I suppose it just didn't seem like a right time. You already stopped trusting me back then, so it didn't really matter, did it? You were angry and if there's one thing I've learned is that when someone's angry, at first there's usually nothing you can say to make things right."

They started to walk in silence for a longer moment. Suddenly both of them were lost for words, but it didn't seem awkward at all – it felt more natural than Emma imagined it to be. She used to be shocked about this – the only person who could ever communicate with her without any words, was Henry. But after spending so much time with Hook, now it just seemed oddly good and familiar. Because deep down she knew that Killian was one of these people who had this ability to make her comfortable, too.

It was her who broke the silence anyway.

"I wasn't angry, Killian," she said quietly, so quietly that she could barely hear herself. She was pretty sure he couldn't hear her either. "I was disappointed. But I-… I never stopped trusting you, actually. I wanted to, because it seemed so much easier to distrust you than actually wanting to understand you, so… I did." She shrugged.

"You don't need to explain yourself, love. I do understand," Hook said, giving her a little smile.

Emma quickly shook her head. "No, no, you don't. It's just that… as I already told you once, I'm running my entire life. It became a huge part of me. It's rather hard to leave this habit behind."

"Then I'm even more proud you managed to do it, lass."

Maybe she did.

She opened her mouth to answer him, but instead, the voice resounded behind her and it certainly wasn't her own.

"Oh, please, enough."

They both turned around, but at first the only thing they could notice was darkness. When it parted, they saw a slim figure emerging from behind the shadows and moving towards them nimbly.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I don't have time to watch you two kiss again," it said, showing her even teeth. "There are more important things that are waiting to be done."

Silence.

"I'm Elsa, by the way."

Emma didn't know that way, but she was sure as hell it meant _trouble _in every vocabulary in the world.

(**A/N**: Okay, so here we go. It's my very first fanfiction in English ever, so plese, don't be too hard on me. I'll get better at this, I promise, but to do that, I need to know what I'm doing wrong, so please - review. It means a world ;)

you can also find me on tumblr: rollyjogger)


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